When Faith Supplants Fear

I’ve been on a wild goose chase for five years.

It all started when my husband and I first relocated to Orlando from Alabama in August 2011. News and social media were my passions. I took a job managing the website of one of the local news channels. They even paid for my relocation.

Six months later, it all came crashing down.

One afternoon, I was ushered into the news director’s office. There, I was told that I was a square peg, that my contract would not be renewed, and that I had six months to find a new job.

Did I mention that I was told all of this on my birthday?

I had never experienced any sort of career setback before. I was gut-punched. Granted, I was not loving my job at that point, having butted heads with leadership on issues I felt were important for digital, such as having website staffers cover more hours of the day. I was already plotting how best to find something new once my contract was up.

I spent the next six weeks going to work knowing that I was not wanted. On top of that, I had a non-compete, and couldn’t take a job at a direct competitor right away.

Luckily, I stumbled upon an opportunity at a niche magazine publisher, as a digital content director for a group of enthusiast magazines. There, I managed editorial and website projects for a year. But the company was going through the same major issues that all publishers have been facing, and had to shut down some titles and  lay off several people.

And I was one of them.

Here we go again. At least this time, I got a glowing recommendation letter from my manager.

From there, I began floating from one opportunity to the next. I was no longer in charge. I just wanted a job that would pay me, that didn’t hate me or lay me off. And from there, I made the mistake of leaving the news industry, and leaving my passions behind.

Since that layoff in April 2013, I’ve held four different jobs in marketing and digital agencies. Four jobs in 3.5 years.

I didn’t plan it that way. I didn’t want it that way. And deep down, I hated it. I hated working on projects with no meaning, that only existed to sell, sell, sell. I hated the sometimes-contentious client relationships that my anxiety-ridden, overly trusting, too-nice self had to deal with. I hated that I had to work with clients who I sometimes felt morally wrong dealing with. I hated having to lie to clients about who was really doing their work — often interns or contractors.

I was also operating on fear: fear that I would be fired or laid off everywhere I went. And when fear is running your brain, it has a way of manifesting itself. Of those four jobs since April 2013, I was laid off once (budget cuts, again) and fired twice. In the process, I dragged my poor husband to Atlanta and back. He was unemployed for a year during our time there. And since April 2013, I’ve spent nearly six months unemployed myself as fear ruled my heart.

But then, something started to change. Over the last month or so, faith has supplanted fear in my heart. I finally had that aha moment about my passions, my fears, and my dreams. And what I realized is that I belong back in the news industry.

And as luck would have it, the perfect fit of a job came along. I start Monday as Social Media Strategist for Hearst Television.

Here’s how perfect it is: I’ll be reporting to a guy I have known for years. Above him is a guy who was my equal at different news stations back in 2008-10. On my team is a guy who I once interviewed for a job with me, and a gal who I recently figured out is my sorority sister from another school. On top of that, my old news station in Alabama was acquired by Hearst, and I may have the chance to work with them again.

How cool is that?

The moral of the story: Don’t let fear rule your heart. When faith overrules fear, great things can and will happen.