A first-rate version of myself

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings

I do my best thinking in the car, on my way home from work. I often compile whole blog posts in my head, or resolve to cross off some important task from my to-do list as soon as I get home. Doesn’t always happen, but I try. Tonight I was thinking about how I’m always investing myself in some big project.

In 2008, my big project was being chapter advisor to my sorority, and planning for our April 2009 wedding. In 2009, the wedding planning continued, then after the wedding, my big project became job-hunting and interviewing for a new position.

In 2010? I’m not really sure what my big project was, outside of settling in at my new (old) job. For a while, I invested a lot of energy in getting our house on the market and praying that it would sell, so we could move to Mobile as I promised for my new position. Unfortunately, the sale of our house looks less likely by the day. But I’m not stressing anymore, for once. And I’m starting to feel more content than I have in a while, despite the stressors I do have.

So for 2011, I can already tell you that my big project will be me. I’ve expended a lot of energy the past few years on serving and teaching others, and I’ve suffered somewhat as a result. So, Brian and I are starting our weight loss journey with the Couch to 5K program. We’re a week in. I want to get into a healthier lifestyle for myself for the long run.

And hopefully something full-time will come of all the freelance and part-time jobs Brian is working — please cross your fingers for us, so that things can improve financially.

I’m also starting to think about the next 5 years — where do I want to be at age 32, going on 33? Will we still be here in Alabama? Will we decide to have a child? I can’t answer those questions now, but I’m learning now that every choice I make has an impact on my life down the road.

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